Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Ennobling work like, you know, cleaning

As part of its drive to hammer beneficiaries to finance its inappropriate tax cuts for the wealthy and finance company bailouts, the government intends to move 46,000 people off benefits over the next few years (they're a bit vague about the time frame), and expects 7,000-11,000 others to work part time. In response to Opposition party scepticism about where, exactly, the jobs would come from, Social Development Minister Paula Bennett had this to say:
Ms Bennett says people should be willing to do jobs like cleaning or working in a fast food restaurant, describing those jobs as noble. Any job is a good job, and people doing cleaning or fast-food service can get experience that allows them to move on to other jobs.
Cleaning, to paraphrase Jebediah Springfield, embiggens the smallest...beneficiary. This patronising tripe is waiting for someone to take it down, and lo and behold a cleaner, no less, has. From Scoop, a Poem for Paula.

So, now we're noble eh
Are you quite sure we're that way, with our mop and plastic tray?
What is this "noble" really,
what does Oxford have to say?


"Belonging to nobility, of lofty character or ideals"
well, that's a must for heating hasty fatty meals

"Noble, illustrious by title, birth or rank"
undaunted if the men's urinal stank


"morally elevated, stately, magnificent, splendid
and maintaining such a state until our graveyard shift has ended


"imposing , impressive in appearance -eg; a noble horse, cellar
"Ah, he must be a cleaner, that imposing feller!"

"not tarnishing in air or water, not easily attacked by acid"
putting up with shit all day, while seeming placid

"gaseous element of a group that almost never combines with other elements"
No, that's not our description.
But it could be Paula Bennet's.

by Don Franks ( cleaner)